Hold Me Now

From glass alabaster she poured out the depths of her soul. Oh, foot of Christ would you wait if her harlotry's known? Falls a tear to darken the dirt of humblest offerings to forgive the hurt. She is strong enough to stand in your love, I can hear her say: I am weak, I am poor, I'm broken Lord, but I'm Yours. Hold me now, hold me now. Let he without sin cast the first stone if you will. To say that my bride isn't worth half the blood that I've spilled. Point your finger and laugh if you choose, to say my beloved is borrowed and used; she is strong enough to stand in my love, I can hear her say: I am weak, I am poor I'm broken Lord, but I'm Yours. Hold me now, hold me now.
~Jennifer Knapp~

Such a beautiful picture of who we are in Christ - as women.

Luke 7:36-50
36Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."
40Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.
41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[d] and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"
43Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.
44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."
48Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."
49The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"
50Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

In these verses in Luke Jesus talks about how those who have been forgiven much, love much. This woman boldly believes in Jesus' forgiveness in spite of the Pharisees in their company - in spite of their judgment of her and in spite of their lack of faith. Jesus rewards her - he affirms her. She is strong enough to stand in His love. Because she is weak and poor and humble enough to admit it - He freely gives love and forgiveness.

John 8:1-11
1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

In this story in John, this woman is caught in an unlawful act and brought in front of the Savior in the most embarrassing way. He is so gracious. She is wrong, but He does not condemn or call her guilty, instead he forgives and tells her to turn from that sin. His blood is spilled a few chapters later in order to take on the pain and agony that this woman would have endured. She becomes beautiful, clean and forgiven. Jesus knows her heart and can "hear her say, she is weak, she is poor, she is broken Lord, but she's Yours". And so she becomes strong, in Him.

Why all these stories and explanations?

Well, because those women symbolize us - they symbolize me. As a woman, a human woman, I fail. There are so many things that make me broken, weak, poor. But those things do not define me. No, I am defined by my gracious Savior. When I "come clean" and admit my mistakes, He does NOT tell me that I am bad, or wrong, or terrible - but He does love me. And in that love He commands me to turn from the things that I let take control of me at times. The sins in my life that distance me from His love and grace.

This past week I have been thinking a lot about how broken and weak I am. I have asked myself, how in the world am I in ministry? And then I remember - I am not in ministry because I am better than anyone, or because I have somehow figured something out or become some super-spiritual mentor of sorts. I am in ministry because HE has called me. He has asked me to join Him in this life of leading others in His way. There are tons of things that I do not have "figured out" and maybe never will, but He is so willing to forgive those things and work through my faults to bring glory to Himself!
How cool. How undeserving. How beautiful!
PS - the word "beautiful" is synonymous with the word "appropriate" in Ecclesiastes 3:11 - ponder that :)

Summary:
I have been humbled, yet again, by our Great God.
I am beautiful in Him, even when I mess up.
In humbleness I am given grace. (James 4:6)
In His presence I am strong!
I am loved.