Done. I did it. I got married. To the best man in the world :)
Therefore, my blog has moved - after all I am not Jess Lemken anymore!

jessvillmer.blogspot.com

We'll see if I get any better at posting...no promises.

I'm getting married :)

psalm 73:28

"But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds."

Mmm, mmm. Feed my soul!

love?

Patient
Kind
Does not envy
Does not boast
Is not proud
Is not rude
Is not self-seeking
Is not easily angered
Keeps no record of wrongs
Does not delight in evil
Rejoices with truth
Always protects
Always trusts
Always hopes
Always perseveres
[1 Corinthians 13:4-7]

...if love is all of these things, then maybe I do not have or give as much love as I sometimes think.

And maybe love isn't as simple as I think either.


I know that love is what Christ showed us, ultimately, in giving His life for us - that love contains all of these qualities. And I know that as a believer I have Christ in me - so technically, I can love. But do I choose to? Do I allow the Spirit to work through me. Do I allow Him to be patient and kind? Or allow Him to spur me on in perseverance and provide hope and trust?

All these questions I ask myself and my answer is a resounding "no".





So, how can I change this? How can I really love?

Answer: Well, if the source of love is God (1 John 4:7) and God desires relationship with us and we deepen relationship by getting to know Him (i.e. reading the Word and doing it) - then I should do Psalm 119:9-11.

Psalm 119:9-119
9 How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.

10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.

11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.

I need to LIVE according to His word - I need to SEEK Him with all of my heart, I need to hide His word in my HEART so that I might not sin against Him. I need to ALLOW His joy to be my STRENGTH. His love will uncontrollably flow from me in all perfection if I do these things - no doubt. But, until I make these things priority, love from me will be sparse, wrong, incomplete.

the first of may

I really need to update, but don't really have time (or energy) right now.

so instead i say:






happy may day!

today I made a new friend...

...isn't it beautiful!

fatigued

Sometimes I get annoyed with God and how awesome He is at growing me. I just get tired...exhausted would be more appropriate.
But I am still thankful.
And I know it is "good" for me. Not "good" in a sarcastic sense like, 'it will eventually make me happy,' but "good" in a literal sense like, 'it might be hard but I am ultimately happy RIGHT NOW.'
I love how incredibly important relationships are in life. Without them I sort of fall apart.
It is also amazing to me how incredibly hard relationships can be. But the hard is worth the work. It makes sense that you need to work at things that are so important.



A friend of mine was talking about his "burden" to create music - and his need to experience highs and lows in life in order to write a song that will bring truth and peace to a person - to set them free. In reading about this I thought, what is my burden? How would I define my God-given "burden" in life? So, I am thinking on it - and will get back to you shortly after I attempt to define it :)

EDIT: My Burden:

People are my burden. I desire to know each person deeply. As impossible as that is, I strive for it and even excel at it (at times). It creates meaningful relationships. It creates times of being stretched too thin. Relationships take time and effort, and as much as I love giving both of those things – I only have so much. So for me, the down side is that I get close to too many and don’t have enough time/energy to effectively manage all of these relationships. The upside, my relationships are not dull or surface level. I get to experience the trueness of who people are. I get to know hearts and lives that God has created so SO beautifully. People are my burden. And for that burden I am so grateful!