'you have redeemed my soul...'

i love words and definitions - they speak to my heart.

re·deem\ri-deem\
1: to recover by discharging an obligation 2: to ransom, free, or rescue by paying a price 3: to free from the consequences of sin 4: to remove the obligation of payment 5: to make good by performing 6: to atone for.

ran·som\ran-suh m\
1: something paid or demanded for the freedom of a captive 2: to free from captivity or punishment by paying a price

a·tone\ah-tohn\
1: to make amends for 2: the reconciliation of God and mankind through the death of Jesus Christ 3: reparation for an offense: SATISFACTION

(From Merriam-Webster Dictionary)



Romans 8:28-30
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose for those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified."

{Thought to self: I love God. I have been called according to HIS purpose. He foreknew me and has predestined me to conform to the likeness of Jesus. He has called me. I have been justified. And I have been glorified!}

glo·ri·fy\glawr-uh-fahy\
1: to make glorious by bestowing honor, praise, or admiration 2: to elevate to celestial glory 3: to light up brightly 4: EXTOL 5: to give glory (as in worship)

really? me!?

"off"

This past week I have felt kind of "off".

Yesterday I was praying and asking God, "what is up God? I mean I know I have been neglecting time with you, but what else is it? What else am I doing differently that makes me feel so 'off'? It has to be 'more' than just not spending time with you?"

During that prayer I realized that the "more" that I thought I was doing differently doesn't really matter in comparison with the one thing I knew I was doing wrong. I know that there is nothing better or more needed than spending time with Him, no matter the extent of things that I do differently in my life, the one thing that will always keep me feeling "on" will be Him. There is no "more" than Him. He is it. He is the constant - without Him constantly in my heart and mind my whole being is "off", my life seems wrong without Him




Today I am feeling great. And only due to Him.
I am really thankful for the way He has created time and seasons. The fact that I can feel like I am starting afresh just because it is Monday is superb! It is refreshing and exhilarating. And once spring comes we will all feel this sense of a new beginning...it's just so cool - He is so brilliant!




.

romans.

I am reading in romans.
Today I read about how faithful and righteous our God is. His righteousness and faithfulness depends nothing on ours (or our lack of). How great - what a relief!






I have recently been feeling VERY convicted about my relationship with my Father (God). I desire, and even talk about my desire, to spend more time with Him, yet always find things to fill my time instead. In thinking about our relationship I was also thinking about how a relationship with an earthly father, or any person, should look.
When a friend or family member is near me and wanting to hang out with me, I am overjoyed to put everything aside in order to give them my full attention and time. A little less excited when it is family - because I know they will always be there, but still, I am more likely to go and be with them than to ignore them completely. And as far as God goes - He is always here. Always ready to hang out. Always ready to fill me and energize me with his presence and love. And I ignore Him.

How would a friend feel or react if I did this to her?
:hurt, abandoned, unloved, she would be less inclined to put as much energy into our relationship if my response was such, but she would still try, until of course I stop responding and she abandons the relationship - rightfully!
How does God feel when I do this to Him?
:probably some of the same emotions, hurt, abandoned, ignored, unloved, etc. - the difference here is that He will keep putting the same amount of energy into our relationship - He will never go far away - He will never abandon me. I deserve so much less than He gives, but He continues to give.

So, why don't my actions change? Why can't I just love Him well?????










it is crazy how much we need Him.
I need Him even to help me love Him.
and I do love Him.

an update: timeline style!

I have been absolutely terrible at keeping in contact with my ministry supporters... for this I offer my most sincere apologies (as sincere as an online apology can be at least).

Here is the most recent "update" of mine:

click HERE to view my update



enjoy :D
and thanks for your love and patience with me as I am continuing this transition into ministry!!!